Kenneth Copeland was captured on a congregant’s cell phone camera as he opened an actual Bible today, only to discover that it did not say anything about God blessing you with untold riches and a private plane. He quickly recovered, reportedly wiping his brow with a silk handkerchief and saying “God has told me that each of is to give $1,000 today! He said that I am to devote these gifts, glory, to the new Kenneth Copeland Bible Translation center, praise, where I’m going to, glory, glory, where we will produce a new, CORRECT translation.” Copeland’s head swiveled back and forth for a bit while he received a new word and, after taking a couple of deep breaths, he excitedly reported “It’s gonna be called the NRIDT … the New Rollin’ In Dough Translation!”
“And, for a gift to the ministry of just $29.95 you can get your own, gilt-edged, printed-with-actual-ink copy. For a gift of $100 or more to the ministry, Gloria and I promise to continue to prey on you…I mean, pray for you as well.”
Stop the Madness. This morning, as millions fire up their browsers, people are going to see the latest headlines about the Church. Not that a worldwide outreach has ended poverty or cared for every AIDS patient in Africa and America but instead, that Copeland ministries is under investigation for financial impropriety. Yet another ‘minister’ brings shame and question on the true gospel with little concern for the consequences. I’d be more impressed with the so-called prosperity gospel if the Copelands and their other buddies gave everything away and then had it all given back by God. That shouldn’t be risky at all, should it?
For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. (2 Ti 4:3-5)